Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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