I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
