I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
