We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
