from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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