you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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