Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
When did angry sex become our thing?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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