The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
