Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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