I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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