just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
