i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
