Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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