there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
