The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
did i walk over a car last night?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
