billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
