Capitaan dildo arrescate!
please come you make the beer taste better
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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