Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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