Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything