He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.