nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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