i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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