he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
