I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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