I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
