Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
