How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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