...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
