what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
