Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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