I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
