Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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