We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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