I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm just crazy horny about you
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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