You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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