Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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