Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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