can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
