Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
