Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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