Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel great
I just peed on a car
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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