***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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