I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
