You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
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She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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