I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
