So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
