A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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