woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
