Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
