How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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