I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
