We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
