Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
