tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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