i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
