Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
