hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
