i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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