thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
