worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
