I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
There's always time for handjobs
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
