Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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