his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
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Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
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Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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