I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You took a bar mat shot.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
