Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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