pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
