I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
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AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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