I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
do nipples grow back?
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