Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
