i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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