i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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